Studying the Free Market at Harvard

It was September 1979 and the school guidance counselor wanted to set up an interview for me and my friend Mike with some guys starting up a concession business at Harvard Stadium.  Hot dogs, popcorn, that sort of thing.  Would we be interested?  We looked at each other.  “What’s it pay?” Mike asked.  Mike was type of guy who liked to know up-front about money.  This was a trait I would come to admire in him over the next few months.  The guidance counselor hadn’t thought to ask about the pay.  We decided to check it out anyway.

It made sense that we had been sought out for the Harvard job.  Mike and I had both worked as vendors at Fenway Park for the past two summers, so we knew about selling food and handling cash at large sporting events.  We were both sophomores at Latin—Boston Latin School, founded in 1635, the oldest public school in the nation, alma mater to Benjamin Franklin, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and countless other cultural luminaries.  I suspect that our connection to Latin meant more than our experience at Fenway to our would-be Harvard employers.  To have Latin School boys peddling their wares at ye olde Harvard Stadium seemed traditional somehow.  Classy, even.

Mike and I showed up in Cambridge a week later, an hour before kick-off, as we’d been instructed.  The guys running this operation, it was clear, were new to concessions.  We were the only vendors they’d hired, and there were no cooks or tray-setters. It was just the two of us and the two of them.  We helped them get the dogs cooked, the popcorn popped, the cokes chilled, and all of it loaded into trays, but it was a pretty last-minute job.  They had hats, I think, but that was about all they had for us by way of uniform.  Just before the game started, they began to run us through the price-list they’d worked up.

“Okay, boys,” the first guy said. “The hot dogs are fifty cents.”

“Do you have buttons?” Mike asked.

“What kind of buttons?” the guy responded.

At Fenway, you had to wear a big button indicating the price of the thing you were selling.  In a large and loud crowd, it made it easier when people asked, How much?  Instead of yelling, you just pointed to the button.

The Harvard guys didn’t have any buttons.  Mike said out of the corner of his mouth, “McDonough, dogs are a buck now.”  We went through the rest of the list with the guys, and after each one, Mike would say, “McDonough,” and he would double the price.  By the end of the drill, he was just giving me a knowing look.

Harvard Stadium was an easier place to sell concessions than Fenway, where the bosses were constantly patrolling the park to make sure people were working.  These guys were too busy in the booth outside trying to keep up with cooking and pouring drinks.  They had no idea how much we were charging in the stadium.  When we were done selling one tray, we would return, give them the amount they were expecting, and help them load up the next tray.  Then off we’d go through a side-entrance to the stadium, waved through by the security guards, who were all very friendly.

In fact, everybody was friendly.  The people who came out to see Harvard play on Sunday afternoons, I discovered, were nowhere near as unruly as Red Sox fans were.  They never complained about our overpriced hot-dogs or Cokes.  I started to feel a little bad about ripping them off, but Mike’s heart was hard.  “Ah, fuck ‘em,” he’d say. “Nobody’s forcing them to buy anything.”

A few weeks later, Mike took me aside just as we were going back to re-load our trays.  “You know what this guy just told me?” he asked, nodding his head toward the security guard.  “These are all general admission seats.”  So what?  “So what?!  It means that all you gotta do is show your stub to the guy and he lets you in.  There’s no assigned seat.  Nobody’s gonna yell at you for where you’re sitting.”

He showed me a ticket stub he had in his hand, and indeed, it did say General Admission.  When I pointed out that we weren’t here to watch the game, he rolled his eyes.  “McDonough, McDonough, McDonough,” he sighed in exasperation.  “Come with me.”

We walked past our hapless bosses at the concession booth, over to the vicinity of the ticket office.  Mike accosted someone standing in line.  Tickets were eight bucks, but Mike offered to sell him the stub for four.  In a matter of seconds, the deal was done, and Mike was four dollars richer.

As we made our way back into the stadium, I asked him where he had gotten the stub. “I traded a dog to somebody for it,” he said, smiling.  “Not bad, huh?  Eight hundred percent mark-up.”  We had been studying economics at school, but it had not occurred to me that our lessons might have some practical application.

By the time Mike had stumbled on his stubs-for-dogs racket, there was only one game left in the season, so we never really had a chance to test the boundaries of this unfettered free market.  And although the prospects for profit were bright, neither of us went back to the Stadium the next year.  By that time, we were juniors, which meant we could work night-games at Fenway selling beer.  “There’s better money selling beer to drunks,” Mike told me.  I was certain that he knew what he was talking about.

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Poised Midway Between Dark and Light

The spring equinox arrived just after 1 this morning, a little early because of Leap Year.  The uncommon warmth of the winter had nothing to do with it, I see in the newspaper, and yet it seems a little hopeful.  The celebration of the vernal equinox has ancient roots, particularly among the Persians, and is still called Nowruz in Iran.  Among the ruins of Persepolis, by the staircase of Darius I’s palace, there is a relief of a bull fighting a lion. Whether this represents a celestial combat of the sun and earth is, as of now, a matter of scholarly debate, but I for one hope that’s what’s depicted.  The idea of the earth-bull at long last gaining an equal footing with the shadow-lion is appealing.  It is all the more appealing now, since I see in the same newspaper that we are debating the nature of the struggle we will engage in with Iran as it acquires nuclear weapons.  A delicate balance?  Or a longer period of darkness?  The Persian ruins augur uncertainly.

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Horseshit versus Bullshit

What is the difference between bullshit and horseshit?  I just listened to Ira Glass confront Mike Daisey, who had given a deliberately erroneous account of Apple’s factory conditions in China on This American Life, so I guess the topic is on my mind.  According to Wikipedia, “The term ‘horseshit’ is a near synonym [for bullshit].”  A much-approved-of definition on Urban Dictionary concurs: “Horseshit is really the same as bullshit, but less cliched and therefore slightly more provocative.”  With all due respect to these authoritative sources, I think there is room to make a genuine distinction.

Before doing so, though, it is worth recalling the description of bullshit as given by philosopher Harry Frankfurt: “When an honest man speaks, he says only what he believes to be true; and for the liar, it is correspondingly indispensable that he considers his statements to be false. For the bullshitter, however, all these bets are off: he is neither on the side of the true nor on the side of the false. His eye is not on the facts at all, as the eyes of the honest man and of the liar are, except insofar as they may be pertinent to his interest in getting away with what he says. He does not care whether the things he says describe reality correctly. He just picks them out, or makes them up, to suit his purpose.”

By and large, I accept Frankfurt’s terms here:  bullshit is not at heart about truth or falsehood, so much as it about the speaker’s wishing to appear to know something at a given moment that his audience does not happen to know.  Whether this something can be verified or not later is of no concern with respect to bullshit.  It is all about appearance. Horseshit, by contrast, is more insidious and more pathetic than bullshit.  A former colleague of mine, a Jesuit priest as it happens, once maintained that there was a real and palpable distinction between the two.  “Bullshit,” he would say (and here I am quoting as best I can from memory), “is not true, but it’s something you say to others in hopes that they’ll believe it.  Horseshit is not true, but at the moment you are saying it, you are willing to believe that it is.”

I agree that the terms “horseshit” and “bullshit” are used interchangeably, even synonymously at times.  But there are times when “horseshit” is precisely the mot propre, and “bullshit” would be off.  For instance, in an interview with Paris Review in 1958, author James Jones said “I am at the moment trying to write a novel [The Thin Red Line], a combat novel, which, in addition to being a work which tells the truth about warfare as I saw it, would free all these young men from the horseshit which has been engrained in them by my generation. I don’t think that combat has ever been written about truthfully; it has always been described in terms of bravery and cowardice. I won’t even accept these words as terms of human reference any more.”  This strikes me as a very fine illustration of the word.

It may be that we are beginning to tread into the territory outlined by Plato in the Euthryphro here.  But rather than do that, let me conclude by saying that what is dangerous about bullshit is how it degrades our regard for truth.  What is even more dangerous about horseshit, though, is the fact that we sometimes voluntarily act on that disregard.  The one is to have the car headlights off at night; the other is to have the lights off and then to start up the engine and drive.

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Venus and Jupiter

Visible in the Western sky this week, for those of us in North  America, will be an especially stunning conjunction of the planets Venus and Jupiter.  The two planets will come within 3 degrees of each other just after twilight and remain close till almost 11 p.m.  On March 25th, NASA will host a live chat about the conjunction of the planets, but I suppose I prefer to think of the scene from the first book of Virgil’s Aeneid, when Venus comes to her father to express the trouble in her heart.  As the poet writes,

Then Sire of gods and men upon her smiled
with mild expression calming sky and squalls,
and kissing her, he said,  “Fear not, my child.”

Olli subridens hominum sator atque deorum,
voltu, quo caelum tempestatesque serenat,
oscula libavit natae, dehinc talia fatur:
‘Parce metu, Cytherea.’

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